7 ways to identify a fantasy villain

Tags

am reading, epic fantasy, fantasy, villain motivation, villains

If you’ve just started a new fantasy series and aren’t sure who the villain is, there are some easy ways to find out. Watch for a few key traits and if more than four show up in a character, you’ve definitely found the series baddie.

1. Miserable childhood

Morgana Pendragon, basically the cover girl for Daddy Issues Monthly.

Fantasy villains cannot have happy childhoods—EVER. In the slim chance one or both their parents weren’t awful, said parent(s) must die a gruesome death, preferably with the young villain watching.

2. Anger management difficulties

Even if the character displays a cold, controlled exterior most the time, they cannot be a villain without an eventual angry outburst, usually in which they do something horrible and violent. Most likely, this results in the death of a character you really liked.

3. Ugly pets/minions

A face only a villainous taskmaster could love.

Anyone who hires deformed, aesthetically challenged creatures no one else would even look at must surely be a bad guy. However, there is a loophole, so long as the beautiful minions are used for seduction-based intelligence gathering.

4. Racism/Elitism/Sexism/Religious purism/Some other nasty “ism”

The villain will probably be the most prejudiced character in the book. Genocide and lines such as “she’s only a woman” and “it’s my birthright” are dead giveaways.

5. Dysfunctional love life

Xena and Drago. Some whacked out stuff going on there.

The villain must either a) have lost their soulmate which spurs them on this hellish crusade and/or b) have a long string of serial relationships to put Henry VIII to shame and/or c) wants someone who wants them dead.

6. Is secretly the protagonist’s father/sibling/miscellaneous lost relative

Assuming the villain did not kill the protagonist’s father/mother, then this one of the spot-on ways to identify him/her. Families suck and that is the moral of the story.

7. Creepy obsession with protagonist/protagonist’s love interest

WTH Rahl? Do you have any idea how bad this looks???

If the villain and protagonist are of the opposite sex, the villain probably has a thing for him/her. If the protagonist is a girl, there will be some rape-y comments in there at minimum, same for a male protagonist’s love interest. The “we could rule the galaxy” speech may also come into play.

Did this list miss your favorite typical fantasy villain trait? Let me know in the comments!

Geekshaming

Tags

geek, geek problems, nerd, nerd girl problems, talk nerdy to me

Geeks are the most passionate humans you’ll ever meet. They’re the ones who spend six hours in line for book signings, drop hundreds of dollars on memorabilia, and gush over (possibly fictional) people no one else has ever heard of. Anyone who has ever been to a RenFest or Comic Con knows that the air almost crackles with excitement.It is not easy being a geek. Every fangirl and fanboy knows the pain of hiatus, waiting between books/movies, and not to mention characters deaths/tragedies. To make things worse, less awesome people regard us as socially inept dweebs. They seem to think we resort to fiction to compensate for the perceived lack of a “real life.” These less awesome people furthermore enjoy making fun of us every chance they get.

But seriously, what is wrong with being a geek? Geeks and their passions are on the most part entirely harmless. Memorizing the genealogies of characters in The Lord of the Rings or spending 300 hours making a cosplay never wrecked the economy. Running Star Wars fan blogs or writing fan fictions is not going to kill anyone.What most outsiders don’t seem to understand is that geek subculture is a culture. We have social networks, gatherings at comic cons and other venues, fan art, fan literature, fan music, and even fan films. There are hierarchies with the creators of our obsessions at the top and reluctantly participating family members at the bottom. There are social rules for meetups and online etiquette. And the vast majority of us masquerade as regular people. We walk the balance beam between reality and fantasy so well most people never know it.If someone doesn’t have a life, giving up on being a geek won’t change that. There is such a richness and diversity within geek culture, it’s impossible to grow stagnant unless you want to. Most regular folk resent people that aren’t like them and so try to deride us into fitting in. It’s just the way human nature works, but people need to get over themselves. If it’s harmless, no one should have to compromise what they love to make other people happy.So make the fan art, scream your heart out at the signing line, collect your Pokémon without apology, and squeal all you want when that Amazon package comes in the mail. Like I said, geeks are the western world’s greatest source of passion. And what is life without passion?

 

The woman I want to be

Tags

eowyn, life goals, lotr, role model

I’ve thought a great deal about who I want to be and how I want the world to perceive me. After plenty of soul searching, I know  I want to be the woman who is kind with a sense of humor.

The princess.

And the protectress.

Loyal and passionate.

Feminine.

But who also takes no crap and doesn’t need special favors from the boys to make things fair.

And who will stab you in the face if you screw with me.

Éowyn. I want to be Éowyn.

The Romance Paradox

Tags

book recommendation, epic fantasy, romance

I like romance, but I don’t like romance. Do you see the problem? Well, I have also found the perfect solution.

For a while there, I was really into Young Adult Paranormal Romance. The evidence is all over this blog and Goodreads, but I got tired of it pretty quick for the same reason I tired of chick flicks: there is one story. After a few (dozen) books, I recognized a definitive formula to all romance novels (they literally teach it at RWA conferences) and it just wasn’t for me.

Thing is, I still like love stories. I have a certain level of romantic in me that refuses to be denied. Despite an affinity for military history, Machiavelli, and Clausewitz, I am still a girl. It’s just bloody hard to find a love story I like.

Have long adored hardcore action stories, but I never wanted to be the hero’s girlfriend, I wanted to be his lieutenant. The one who survives to the end, saves his sorry hide when he gets in a fix, then ends up taking his place to outwit the Lannisters, defend Troy, or drive the Narens from Lucel-Lor,  or lead the Rohirriam.

The solution to wanting a surprising, action-filled storyline that examines a wide array of relationships besides romantic (but still includes romance!)? For me it was—what else?—Epic Fantasy. The Tyrants and Kings series by John Marco had the perfect level of romance. Same with the Shadowmarch books by Tad Williams, Morgan Rhodes’ Falling Kingdoms and the Mistborn trilogy.

I especially appreciate how people in Epic Fantasy are a lot quicker to figure out when their romance isn’t worth causing the apocalypse—unlike people in some genres. *coughcough*

So if, like me, you crave complicated storylines, complex characters, and some swooning on top, allow me to suggest your local bookstore’s Epic Fantasy section. (In a wholly objective and unbiased manner, of course.)

Argetallam Saga Playlist

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argetallam saga, book playlist, celtic thunder, music, playlist, the chalice of malvron, the key of amatahns, the secrets of the vanmars

With The Secrets of the Vanmars new edition just out, I thought I’d finally unveil my series playlist! While I don’t listen to music while I write (I have concentration issues), I have been known to compile playlists and rock out to them while working through writer’s block. Here are a few song I find inspirational for the Argetallam Saga.

 A New Day Dawning ~ Celtic Thunder

 

This our land, this is where we belong

And here we are destined to be

This is our land where our fathers have spilled

Their blood and their sweat and their tears

We’ll drive the invader back over the sea

Again and again and again and again

Ignore the oceanic reference and this might as well be Brevia’s national anthem. The talk of fighting off invasions, generational love of kingdom and country all fit perfectly for the people of Brevia.

Because of You ~ Kelly Clarkson

 

Because of you, I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you, I play it on the safe side so I don’t get hurt

Because of you, I find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me

Because of you, I am afraid

I first heard this song years ago when I started work on the earlier books. It makes me think of Janir and Lucan talking about their father and all the ways he’s ruined their outlook on the world—especially Lucan.

Young and Beautiful ~ Lana Del Rey

 

Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful?

Will you still love me when I’ve got nothing but my aching soul?

When I heard this, I couldn’t help think of Janir and Saoven. In my mind, this is their official song and it brings to mind their struggles with disproportionate lifespans and their sweet, innocent romance.

Look at Me ~ Celtic Thunder

 

Look at me! I’m bold and I’m charming, debonair, and disarming!

That’s me to a “t”!

Cocky and overconfident. It kind of reminds you of Karile, doesn’t it?

Hail the Hero ~ Celtic Thunder

 

Hail the hero—strong and true!

Fought the fight and saw it through

Swore he’d never be a slave

And gave his life

Our land to save

Everything about this makes me think of something the Argetallams would sing on patriotic holidays and celebrations. Very martial, lots of drums, and brimming with a sense of ethnic pride. (Yes. I listen to lots of Celtic Thunder.)

 

Real and Not Real: People who ended up in the Argetallam Saga

Tags

argetallam saga, indie author, writing inspiration

Why would I picture my family members as fantasy characters?

When I started working on what would become the Argetallam Saga at the tender age of eleven, it was easier for me to transpose people I knew into my fantasy world versus trying to write wholly original personalities. Over time, this changed and many of them are no longer readily clear, but the fundamentals are still there.

Karile, the quirky, redheaded enchanter who is responsible for about half the plot in The Key of Amatahns was a fictitious representation of my oldest brother. Though Karile is a much more over-the-top version, to this day I associate him fondly with my brother and the many childhood misadventures we shared. Not to mention that particular brother has allowed me to bounce ideas off him more than once—he kind of deserves a character.

Such a mystery…

The Argetallam Saga’s Zebulun River and Gideon Mountains were named after my youngest two brothers (and if you met them, you would know how very suitable that is).

My mother has made a habit of turning up in my books whether I mean for it to happen or not. Her fictitious counterpart was deliberately placed in the Argetallam Saga under the guise of Aryana Caersynn, Janir’s mother. Looking back, I see that all my stories have some personification of my mother. Considering she was the one who taught me to read and fostered my passion for literature, it does seem fitting.

But it doesn’t stop with family. One of my former coworkers makes an appearance as an Argetallam in the later books. An old family friend has been accidentally reincarnated as Sir Marserian, Karile’s father, while my own father was inspiration for both Armandius and the Lord Argetallam .

Perhaps we’ll never know.

The more I write, the more I find myself coming up with new characters who hold little or no resemblance to people I actually know. In some ways, I feel like this means I’m becoming a “real” writer. Even those I intentionally patterned after real people have evolved unexpectedly into their own personalities and quirks and that just might be my favorite part of all.

Me and bookstores…in GIF

Tags

book nerd, gif post, humor, lord of the rings

Me seeing a bookstore:

My family trying to keep me out of the bookstore:

Me entering the bookstore anyway:

Me finding the Young Adult section:

Me finding the Epic Fantasy section:

My family when they lose track of me:

Me finding a book I want:

Me at the checkout:

Me leaving the bookstore:

Elisabeth’s Random Thought of the Day

Tags

encouragement, follow your dreams, inspiration, random thoughts

Have you ever met an older person who shares your passion for something and you two have so much in common? And they start encouraging you to keep doing what you love and trying to help you along best they can? You can tell they see themselves when they look at you, the younger version, and they hope you make better choices. In you they find all the potential they once had and try to push you, sometimes roughly, to make the most of that potential.

Sometimes I wonder who those people see when they look at me. What do they imagine in my future? Where do they see my passion taking me? Do they see the power to overcome the things that make me doubt myself? Do they see a second chance, someone who could do what they wish they had?

And sometimes I wonder if one day I’ll be looking at the kid I used to be. I wonder if I’ll be the one telling them not to make the mistakes I did, that they shouldn’t settle for safe. That they should follow their passion and never settle for anything less than their dreams.

Cupid the horrible boyfriend

Tags

cupid, eros, greek mythology, mythology, psyche, roman mythology, valentine's day

Happy St. Valentines’ Day! Everyone’s heard of Cupid, right? (Eros to the Greeks.) He might have been a god of love, but he still sucked as a boyfriend. Psyche and Eros/Cupid are one of the exceptionally rare Greek/Roman romances that didn’t end horribly, which may be another reason they’re not so popular. Either way, their story is a truly mythological tale, filled with all the requisite pettiness and stupidity.

He’s the god of erotic desire, DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS TO FIND G-RATED IMAGES?!?!

Mortal Psyche was so beautiful some people started worshiping her instead of Aphrodite/Venus. In a mature and logical response to this, Aphrodite/Venus sent her son, Eros/Cupid, to make Psyche fall in love with the ugliest man he could find.

This plan backfired when Eros/Cupid stabbed himself with the arrow meant for her.

Through some divine trickery, Eros/Cupid arranged a sort of marriage where Psyche lived in a magnificent house with invisible servants and he stopped by to visit her only at night, never letting her see his face. (I guess he had to keep it secret from his mother or something.) Eventually, Psyche’s curiosity won over and she lit a lamp while he slept. Stunned at finding the most beautiful man she’d ever seen, she then proceeded to dump hot wax all over him.

Extra crispy Eros/Cupid then flew screaming to his mother (literally) and abandoned Psyche to wander the earth. While Eros/Cupid was healing at his mother’s house, Psyche had the brilliant idea of asking Aphrodite/Venus for help finding him.

Ever the ideal mother-in-law, Aphrodite/Venus agreed to help find Eros/Cupid if Psyche could complete four impossible tasks.

First, Psyche had to sort a giant pile of mixed seeds before dawn (did I mention she was now pregnant?). Luckily, an ant assembled an army of insects in aid. Aphrodite/Venus next demanded that she fetch golden fleece from homicidal sheep. Psyche gathered wool caught on briers. Now fairly frothing, Aphrodite/Venus ordered Psyche to collect black waters from the rivers of Styx and Cocytus. This time, Zeus/Jupiter actually showed some decency for once and sent his eagle to do the task for her.

Then again, I guess if you want to talk Greek/Roman tools, just about every male deity beats out Eros/Cupid. (Image via moco-choco)

The final task was to obtain a dose of the beauty of Persephone/Proserpina. Upon success, Psyche was filled with curiosity (again) and opened the box containing Persephone/Proserpina’s beauty, but instead found that it was filled with Stygian sleep.

Now healed from his flambéing, Eros/Cupid decided he might have overreacted to the whole scorching thing. He drew the Stygian sleep from Psyche’s face then took his case to Zeus/Jupiter. Zeus/Jupiter blessed Eros/Cupid and Psyche’s union, made Psyche immortal, and ordered Aphrodite/Venus to back off. In exchange, Eros/Cupid would help should Zeus/Jupiter ever want to woo a woman (because what else would Zeus/Jupiter want?).

And there you have it. The story ends with Eros/Cupid spending eternity in love with Psyche, but I still think he sucked as a boyfriend. He really doesn’t do anything but make Psyche work to get him back. I see lots of parallels to this and the Loki/Sigyn story—total tool loved by girl who’s way too good for him—but that’s mythology for you.

Let’s hope Eros/Cupid makes a better husband.

5 Real Life Warrior Queens

Tags

ancient history, history, military history, warrior queens, women's history

This post is a bit long, a bit fact-heavy, and there are plenty combative ladies I didn’t have room to include. This is one of my favorite topics along with military history, so feel free to mention anyone I didn’t get to today!

Lakshmi Bai

An artist’s depiction of Rani Lakshmibai of Jhansi in battle with the British, with her stepson, Damodar.

Lakshmi was her stepson’s regent over Jhansi, a small principality in northern India, until 1857, when a mutiny led to the slaughter of British soldiers and civilians. The British saw it fit to blame Lakshmi and when it became clear that she wouldn’t be allowed to retain control of her kingdom, Lakshmi led a rebellion, even riding with her army against the British. She was shot with a musket, but returned fire before being finished with a saber.

Nzingha

Illustration from the cover of “Nzingha: Warrior Queen of Matamba”

A seventeenth century queen of the Ndongo and Matamba Kingdoms of the Mbundu people in modern day Angola, Nzingha rose to power around 40 shortly after the death of her brother, Mbandi, and spent the rest of her life fighting against the Dutch and Portuguese. She led many battles and campaigns against the European invaders up until her death in 1663 at eighty years of age.

Boudicca

Bronze statue of Boudicca at the river Thames in London.

When King Pragustus died in 60 A.D., the Romans brutalized his wife Boudicca and their daughters and attempted to seize the king’s estate. At this, other tribes flocked to Boudicca’s aid in an uprising against the Romans. Led by Boudicca, the Celtic armies sacked Camulodunum (modern Colchester), Londinium (modern London), and Verulamium (modern St. Albans) before being defeated by Suetonius Paulinus.

Cynane

Artist’s impression of what Cynane may have looked like, from the online game Total War: ARENA.

There is a lot of ambiguity surrounding Cynane, but we know this much—she was Alexander the Great’s half sister by Philip II’s Illyrian wife, she was trained by her mother in the martial arts, and she was not afraid of taking what she wanted. There are even some stories that place her on the battlefield with Alexander doing single combat with enemy leaders. Alexander tried marrying her off to get her out of the way, but after his death she turned up and demanded her daughter Eurydice be made empress to his heir. She was killed for her efforts, but in the end, Eurydice did become queen.

Artemisia I

Eva Green as Artemisia in 300: Rise of an Empire. (Don’t get me started on this film’s historical inaccuracy. Just don’t.)

If you’ve seen 300, you probably know who this is, at least the fictionalized, sexualized version. Though sometimes confused with Artemisia II, Artemisia I rose to power as regent of Caria for her son after the death of her husband. Mentioned by Herodotus, Pausaniaus, Polyaenus, in the Suda, and Plutarch, all sources agree that Artemisia I was a cunning tactician and invaluable asset to Xerxes I. Famed especially for her feats in the Greco-Persian war, she distinguished herself at the naval battle of Artemisium, but disappears from the historical record after escorting Xerxes’ illegitimate sons to Ephesos after the Persian defeat at Salamis.